Sentiment
by pnai-87
Summary: She didn’t understand his words, but the look in his eyes when he said them all said the same thing.


Sentiment

Summary: She didn't understand his words, but the look in his eyes when he said them all said the same thing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hana Yori Dango, and I apologize if I use any of the tenses in the different langauges incorrectly.

(-)(-)(-)

"S'ayapo." He whispered, brushing her hand as he passed, the gesture slow enough to send a tingle up her arm.

"What does that mean, Nishikado-san?" She could feel her face redden from his touch.

"It's Greek." He said, glancing back at her. "It means I'll pick you up tonight."

"But…" She trailed off; unsure of the expression he wore. She thought she had seen every expression cross his face, this one she had never known.

"S'ayapo, Yuki-chan."

(-)(-)(-)

He took her to his favorite night club. She had been there before, but never as his date. As soon as they crossed the threshold, a throng of women descended on them, nudging her none-too-gently out of the way to get to him. As she stood, several feet away, they sneered at her and greeted him with kisses and coy suggestions. To her surprise, he said to them, "Not tonight, ladies. My favorite girl is here."

"But, Nishikado-kun, we haven't seen you in weeks." One girl pouted.

"We can share you with her, if she'd like to join us," Another offered.

He shook his head apologetically, and made his way to her.

Her brow drew together in confusion. "Nishikado-san?"

He smiled down at her, a gentle look on his face. "Let's dance, Yuki-chan."

She stared at him, questioningly as he led her to the dance floor and pulled her close. The song was a slow one. She couldn't help notice how right she felt in his arms. She fit there, like they were made to hold her. She allowed herself to rest her head on his shoulder as they swayed.

"You're so soft," He murmured. "I never realized…"

He didn't let go, even when the song changed. Several times she saw other women try to catch his eye, but he paid attention only to her. While she was dazzled by the attention, she couldn't help wonder why.

"Why did you bring me here tonight, Nishikado-san?" Surely, he knew the message he was sending to others, not to mention the message he was sending her. She had just gotten to look at him normally, and she really didn't want to bear having to start over again.

"I wanted you with me, Yuki-chan." He said simply.

When they weren't dancing, they sat together on the cushy sofa in his private balcony overlooking the couples on the dance floor. Though she strove to put a little space between them, to maintain at least a little propriety, he would have none of it. He sat down, wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her up snugly against him. She was all but sitting in his lap. Her cheeks burned at his forwardness. To be in such an intimate position in public…but she couldn't fight him or her own longing to stay where she was.

"What gotten into you? This is…too strange, even for you." A few weeks ago, he wouldn't have even considered being this familiar with her. She was his friend, and she knew he didn't look at her in that way. The way she wished he would. What had changed?

He let her pull back a little, just enough to see his eyes. "Sarangehee yo, Yuki-chan." They were warm, and his expression was gentle. Just as it had been this morning when he spoke words she couldn't understand. She recognized the inflection being Korean. Before she could ask, he said. "Don't question it. Relax, and just be with me."

She felt him kiss her hair, and convinced that this (whatever it was) wasn't going to last, she relaxed. _Just for this once. I can pretend just for tonight._ Tomorrow would come, and sooner or later he'd snap out of whatever had come over him to be treating her differently, and she'd deal with it. For now she let herself have this night.

(-)(-)(-)

A week later, she was more puzzled by him than ever. Every day since, he had been acting very much the attentive suitor. He was there in the morning with his bike to bring her to school. The first time, she had been so shocked she just stood there, frozen. He never let anyone ride on his bike! He just smiled, and handed her a spare helmet. He had her hold on to him, pressed tightly against his back as he weaved through traffic. She blushed the whole way. Then when the dismissal bell rang he was waiting for her at the school gate, quite a few girls surrounding him. She had meant to maneuver around the crowd and just walk herself to work, unnoticed, as she had always done, but he spotted her and called out her name. She shirked back from all the incredulous stares and meekly went over to him. And so it went day in day out all week. He stopped by to bring her home after work and would walk her to the door.

"Is something wrong, Nishikado-san?" She asked one night.

He looked at her in surprise. "What could be possibly be wrong, Yuki-chan?"

"Well, you've been acting strange all week. You're not usually this…openly attentive. Is it your parents? They're pushing a fiancée onto you and you think having me at your side with put them off? Or maybe you have another stalker?" Both scenarios they had dealt with in a similar manner before, but he usually told her in advance.

He smiled, amused. "Can't I just spend time with you without having ulterior motives?"

She frowned, searching his face. She had seen him in his charming playboy mode, and he had flirted with her off and on over the years, this was similar yet different. It confused her. "Perhaps you should see a doctor, Nishikado-san."

Now he laughed outright. "Wo ai ni, Yuki-chan." He bent and kissed her tenderly on the forehead. "Nothing is wrong. I've never been better." There it was again. That look he had been giving her over and over, with a phrase in yet another language she didn't know.

He took her hand and brought it to his lips. "Goodnight."

(-)(-)(-)

After a month of his exclusive attention, Yuki could no longer suppress the hope that had been building. She sat at the brook of a river, a spot she frequented often, thinking about him and his current tactics.

In the years she had known him, her feelings had never changed. She had always wished that he'd come to like her, even if just a little. She was content with being his friend. She got to know more about him and sees sides of him he wouldn't show to others, but lately it seemed he was offering her more.

She could have shrugged if off as just another one of his strange phases. He got like that now and again. Suddenly super nice to her, showering her with attention…taking her to galleries, concertos, dinner and rides on his newest toy (cars, yachts, jets, etc.) before not calling for the same amount of time. She was used to it. What he did lately was on a different level. He took her to places where people knew him as playboy and in front of all his usual women he gave his attention only to her. Where he was usually was reserved and polite to her in public, he sat closely, walked closely and…he touched her. Sometimes on her arm, or her hand, or the small of the back, but always below the shoulder. She'd suppress a shiver each time he did it. They could be looked at as casual touches, but felt very intimate. Then there were the gifts.

She had helped him pick out gifts for his girlfriends before. Their tastes ranging from imported chocolate, to designer hair pieces, to the most exquisite jewelry. Not once had he ever given her anything, and not once had she ever asked. She didn't even expect him to remember her birthday. She sure as certain didn't expect him to know what she liked. So it came as a surprise when every morning in her locker was some sort of purple flower, her favorite color and every day after the dismissal bell rang there was a bag of jelly beans waiting for her, her favorite sweet.

She honestly did not know what had come over him, but she couldn't help but feel so happy at his attentions. _Maybe he'll ask me officially one day,_ she mused gazing at the purple tulip she found that morning. She imagined them walking down the street hand-in-hand, whispering to one another, cuddling on her couch watching a movie, him finally confessing his love. She giggled just thinking about it.

"Well, what have we here?" A voice sneered.

Yuki looked up to face five, very beautiful, apparently very angry, women. She recognized them instantly as Soujiro's girlfriends. She fought the urge to shrink back from the cold glares they were sending her.

"Ah, it's the girl that's been trailing after Nishikado, isn't it?" One girl said, looking at her disdainfully.

"Aren't you embarrassed? A man of that level and a plain little girl like you doesn't suit at all." Said another.

"Oh, wait. He's the one chasing you, isn't he?"

They all laughed. "Don't get too full of yourself, little girl. It's probably because he hasn't been able to have at you the regular way."

"Once you fall for his charms, he'll seduce and toss you aside in disappointment. We are the only ones he comes back for a second time."

Yuki clenched her fists when they began to surround her and press in. "You're so plain looking. No sex appeal at all. He probably wants the novelty of an innocent girl. Maybe he'll dress you up first." One girl snickered.

"You're all just…just jealous." She muttered, but they heard.

They stopped laughing and looked outrage. She cried out when one girl pulled her hair. "Who would be jealous of a plain, ugly little child? Nishikado will never want you. Not really. He likes the chase, the challenge. He will tire of you easily."

"Why have a child, when he could have a woman?"

"Nishikado will never love you. You are his toy, and this is all a game. Don't think he'll ever give his heart to the likes of you."

Then all five of them grabbed her arms, dragged her to the edge of the embankment and threw her in. The water wasn't exactly shallow, but it was deep enough to submerge her. The move was meant, not to drown, but to humiliate and demean.

"Stay away from Nishikado, girl. Next time we won't be so nice."

Alternating between coughing fits and taking in gulps of air, she dragged herself out of the cold water and onto shore. She didn't know how long she sat there, shivering and trying valiantly to stave off the tears, but the sun had set by the time she got up and began walking home.

The things those girls had said, though laced in venom and spite, really got to her. She was no great beauty like the women he flirted with. She had no amazing abilities or strong facets to her character like Tsukushi. She was, by all accounts, _ordinary._ What could he see in her? She was foolish to entertain thoughts of being with him. They didn't belong together, no matter how being in his arms felt. Even if she continued seeing him, how long before he tired of her? A man from a rich family didn't belong with such a poor and ordinary girl like her. It would be best for everyone if she was not a part of his life.

So, for the next few days Yuki went to great lengths to avoid seeing him. She woke an hour early every morning and left school through the back entrance. She changed her hours at work on a daily basis and begged the rest of the F4 and Tsukushi not to tell him where she was.

She regretted it had to be done like this. What he must think of her, going from willingly being at his side to hiding from him. But what choice did she have? Once he thought about it, she was sure he'd stop trying whatever it was he was trying with her and move on to his next conquest.

"Matsuoka-senpai!" A voice called behind her, pulling her from her thoughts and halting her progression to the back gate.

She turned and smiled at the boy approaching her. "Ah, Katsuragi-kun. I was wondering when I'd be seeing you."

The boy panted from the effort of catching up with her. Resting his hands on his knees in an exhausted bow he held out an envelope to her.

Before she could reach for it, another voice had her freezing.

"A confession? Is it really that easy?"

She didn't have to turn around to know who the voice belonged to.

"Tell me, boy. How do you benefit at all from going into this blind? Isn't it foolish to confess without first understanding your chances?"

Katsuragi looked up at Soujiro. "Eh? Chances? Aren't my chances fifty-fifty? She'll either reject me or she won't."

Yuki heard his footfalls, and soon felt the heat of his body behind her.

"You can handle rejection? If she tells you she doesn't like you in that way, and that you'll only ever be a friend to her. It's fine with you?"

The boy straightened, looked him firmly in the eye and nodded resolutely. "I'll want to change her mind, of course. I've liked her for a long time, and I can't just give up simply because she doesn't feel the same yet."

She felt him stiffen behind her. "What are you doing, Nishikado-san?"

He ignored her. "What if she knows things about you? Knows that you've never been true to only one girl, and that you've never looked her way directly before? What if you've hurt her once? What if there are a million things in your way keeping you from her? Would you still confess?"

Katsuragi looked confused. "Well, I'll have to put my faith in her, won't I? That she'll see that my feelings are sincere and that they won't go away no matter my past? That I want to be a better guy for her?" He looked at the ground and frowned. "Even if there are a million things in my way…if she likes me, even just a little, I know that I can be with her." He looked up again and shrugged. "I can't let the fear of rejection stop me from letting her know how I feel. I want her to know."

Yuki couldn't help the warm smile from blooming on her face. She reached for the letter again, only to have Soujiro snatch it from her. "Nishikado-san!" She hissed. "You shouldn't interfere in other people's love."

"I don't care how much better than me you think he is." Soujiro growled. "Like hell am I letting him just snatch you away right in front of me."

She felt her face redden. "Snatch me away?" _Is he…jealous?_ The look on his face was new to her. It was an expression that held a mixture of rage and misery.

Katsuragi was quick to snatch the letter back. "Hey! I worked hard on that letter. Izumi-chan won't take it if it's crumpled."

"Izumi-chan?" She heard the confusion in his voice, and shook her head. _Still jumping to conclusions…_

"In this school, Nishikado-san," Yuki said, unable to look at him, "it is a tradition to give a confession to a trusted senpai to give to the recipient. It's meant to show that senpai's approval." She gently took the letter from Katsuragi and stowed it neatly in her pocket. "I'll make sure Izumi-san gets this, Katsuragi-kun. I'm sure she'll be very happy."

The boy nodded gratefully, bowed to her and took off in the direction of the front entrance.

Part of her wished he hadn't left so quickly, being alone with Soujiro wasn't something she was ready for. She sighed. "I have to head to work, Nishikado-san. I'll see you later." She turned towards and gate and got three steps away from him before he said, "You're not going anywhere today, Yuki. I've bought out the dango shop, the restaurants, and called the hospital you volunteer at. You are free for the next two weeks."

Two weeks. That was how long she was able to stay away from him. "It seems you haven't left anything out."

"Why have you been avoiding me, Yuki? If you weren't interested you could have just said so. It was rather cruel of you to string me along like that." His tone was light, almost disinterested, but she knew that his eyes…those dark expressive eyes…held a storm just barely held back.

"I've just been a little busy, Nishikado-san." She said, carefully. "I'm sorry if it looked like I was tossing you aside, I didn't mean to be disrespectful."

That was obviously the wrong thing to say, for then he grabbed her arm and used his hand to force her chin up. "At least look at me, when you're talking." She blinked at his sudden nearness. His face was mere inches from hers, and she was right. His eyes did hold a storm. "Disrespect? Is that what you think this is about? You're not stupid, Yuki. You know what I want from you."

She stiffened. "I thought we were friends, Nishikado-san."

His expression darkened. "Friends?" He repeated. "After all this time, you think…" He scowled and dragged her up flush against him. In a swift move, he swooped down and took her lips in a hard kiss. She knew him to be proud and dominating, she'd once speculated his kisses might reflect that. She'd never thought she'd get to experience it. _This is bad, this is very bad. _She couldn't give in, but he didn't seem likely to release her soon. She tried to think of something, anything that might stop her from responding to him, even as her body was beginning to melt against his, but nothing came to mind. Before she knew it she was shyly kissing him back, her arms twining around his neck to pull herself even closer.

"Yuki," He murmured. "Je t'aime, Yuki."

"Nishikado-san…" Then, the bell rang, startling her out of her passion induced hazed. Suddenly, too aware of the impropriety of their embrace, she struggled out of his arms. He only tightened his hold.

"The minute I let you go, you'll hide from me again."

She stopped, and looked up at him, disturbed by the note of pain in his voice.

"Am I really no good, Yuki? Won't you consider me, even for just a moment?"

Her browse drew together, in confusion. "I don't understand, Nishikado-san. Is this…is this a game? You want to…s-seduce me? You don't have to go to such lengths, but I'm not very experienced in such things."

Soujiro sighed, his shoulders sagging in dejection. "A game." He laughed, a self-depreciating laugh. "Of course you'd think that. Why would you think anything else? What reason could there be for you to think I was at all serious?" He let her go then, almost stumbling to step away.

"I guess this is what they call karma. Makino always said my playboy ways would come back and bite me, but why did it have to be this way?" He was talking to himself now, as if forgetting she was there. Then he began to pace, an unconscious restless habit of his. "I've cut off my ties with my night life, deleted every phone number in my cell, and I've been doing everything I could think of to prove…" He trailed off and glanced up at her. When she only blinked, he shook his head and continued to pace. "But it wasn't enough. How could it be? What more can I do? How am I supposed to know what to do? I didn't want this. Get that straight, Yuki. I did not want this." He was looking at her now, suddenly angry. "You must have done something. This is your fault and now you must take responsibility."

She raised a brow. "I haven't done anything to you, Nishikado-san." If he was going crazy then it certainly wasn't any of her doing. It must have been his nightly activities. She hardly thought frequent sex with multiple partners would do him any good in the end.

"You must have. Look." He took her hand and brought it to his chest. _Nishikado-san's heartbeat…it's really fast._ "The doctors haven't found anything wrong, but this sure as hell isn't normal. When I'm thinking of you, or looking at you it does that and once in awhile I'd get…a pinch. It hurts… a lot, and I'm too young to have heart problems and my family has no history of heart problems. So, the only explanation is you."

"Maybe it's an allergy, Nishikado-san. Maybe you should stay away from me for awhile and it would go away." She edged away from him, lest his insanity be contagious.

He waved his hand dismissively and stepped closer. "That only makes it worse. Being with you is the only cure I've found so far." Her eyes widened when he took her hand and brought it to his cheek. "This…this is soothing." He twined his fingers through hers. "Calming." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed each of her knuckles. Yuki, already having trouble breathing, could feel her face heat in a bright blush. "Do you know what that means, Yuki-chan?"

She shook her head slowly. She wouldn't be able to fight him off now. If she ran, he'd catch her. If she hid, he'd find her. Now, her heart didn't have a single defense left. He was wearing that expression again. She suspected the feeling behind it, but she didn't want to get her hopes up.

"It means that I…love you, Yuki. I'm in love with you." He watched her carefully, holding her hands loosely, but she felt the tension in them. She hadn't been paying attention to her own expression, because soon he let go.

"Nishikado-san—"

"No, it's okay, Yuki. You don't have to say anything." He pasted a bright smile on his face. "We could just pretend this whole month never happened, okay? Chalk it up to the stress."

She stared at him. _Pretend it never happened? So, was it really just a game after all?_She narrowed her eyes. "I could hate you, Nishikado-san."

He paled at that one sentence.

"Saying those words, paying so much attention to me, treating me so special…was it all just another one of your selfish whims?" Her voice grew cold. "How dare you! I am not your toy, Nishikado-san. If you're going to say those words to me, you'd better mean them, otherwise you're just insulting me. I really hate this side of you, Nishikado-san. Find yourself another stress reliever." She turned her back and prepared to storm as far away from him as she could get.

"No, Yuki, wait—" In his rush to get to her, he tripped, landing ungracefully on the hard ground.

She was almost to the gate when she heard him say. "S'ayapo."

She glanced back at him.

"Sarangehee yo."

He got up on his feet.

"Wo ai ni."

He walked toward her.

"Je t'aime."

He stopped right in front of her.

"They all share the same meaning, Yuki." He looked into her eyes, his own desperate, begging with her to give him whatever she was willing to give.

She understood then. It wasn't a game. He had just been afraid, terrified of her rejection. In a way he had been confessing to her over and over throughout the month. She'd just never seen it.

Her expression softened, her eyes warmed to his. Reaching up to touch his face she said, "I love you, too, Soujiro."

(-)(-)(-)

A/N

Okay, this is probably one of the most clichéd, waffy stories I have ever written. The story behind it is that I save the chapters to my story _The Siege_not by chapter number, but by words that mean "I Love You" in different languages. I've had the idea to make a story about it for awhile now, but I've been too busy with other things to get around to it. I hope you guys liked it. Stay tuned for the next chapter of my Rui/Tsukushi fic _The Siege_and my Soujiro/Yuki fic _Unofficial._ Thanks for all the support from readers, encouraging reviews from reviewers and everyone who have put me and my stories on their alert and favorites lists. It's been a great year, and see you all in 2009!


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